Monday, Dec. 10th

People often ask themselves, what is the meaning of life, and why am I here anyways? I have come to the conclusion that the meaning of life, for me anyways, is to learn how to live happily. For me to learn how to live happily, I need to have success.
Success has a variety of meanings, and it depends who you talk to as to what their idea of success is. To some it means having a great carreer, that fullfills their needs and expectations. To others, it means attaining wealth, and being able to travel and buy things they desire. Then there are those that fall into a non material idea of success. That is of where I fit in. I read once that success means to laugh often; to win the respect of itelligent people and the affection of children. To earn the appreciation of honest critics, and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, and to leave the world a better place than it was when you got here. That could be by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition. To have success is to know that even one life has breathed a little easier because you lived. All of this together is the success that I hope to achieve in my life.
I attended a funeral two weeks ago, which was the second one I have attended in the last month. As is the case at most funerals, someone close to the deceased stands up and talks about the kind of person the deceased was, and about their accomplishments in this life. The talk often goes in the direction of how that particular person's life affected those around them. Every time I attend a funeral, it brings to mind a funeral that I will one day have. I ponder about the type of people that will be there, and how many. I ask myself what types of things would I want said about me at my funeral. If I died today, what things would be said about me. The big question is, have I done enough in this life so far to make an impact on the lives around me? This is where success comes into play.
I used to be on the parent council at my children's school when they were young. I knew a lady also on this council that used to live close to the school, and every day hundreds of kids would pass by her home. The elementary school and high school were beside each other, so kids from both would pass by every day. This lady was often working out in her yard when the kids went by, and she always made a point of saying good morning to every one. Now, the elemantary kids are their usual happy-go-lucky selves, always approaching with a smile already on their tiny little faces. The high school kids, however, were a different story. They would walk by shuffling their feet, hands in their pockets, and heads looking down towards the ground. This lady, working in her yard, would yell out "good morning", and those high school kids would change instantly. They picked up their step, smiled, and walked with their heads looking forward, instead of down. Not all of them would yell a greeting back at her, but all of them would feel that little bit better about themselves because they were noticed. This was many years ago, but it has had a huge impact on me in my life because this lady was a great example of how just a simple "hello" can brighten someones day. I have always tried to follow her example.
One of my pet peeves in life is when people ask you how you are doing, but don't show an interest in your answer. "How are you" has become a generic way to greet people, because it doesn't matter how you answer, people usually say, "oh, that's good". I have tested this theory. When I had someone ask me how I was doing, I answered, "oh, not that great, thanks". I still got the response, "oh, that's good". I make a point of never asking how a person is doing if I am not really interested in the answer.
In one of my jobs, I have the opportunity to meet hundreds of people every shift. A couple of days ago, I had an elderly lady come to my register, and plunk her items on the counter. When I asked how she was doing that evening, she responded with a sigh, "oh alright, I guess". I could have left it at that, but I took it a step further, and without being nosey, I just replied, "oh dear, that doesn't sound very good". Through that, and the conversation that followed, I learned that this lady had just turned 85, and was feeling very old, and not at all happy about it. I also learned that the elderly man lagging behind her was her husband, and that they had been married for 67 years. Once we got talking, he too come closer to my till and joined in the conversation. The two of them left the store chatting and laughing amongst themselves. They left me with inspiration of the power of family
I myself grew up in the Okanagan in a very disfunctional family, where things happened that shouldn't have. I had a neighbour that was a terrific example of how an average family should act. I used to always make a note of things the mom of the household did with her son, and how kind she was to all the kids in the neighbourhood. I myself used to stay over late at her house and watch the Johnny Carson show. This lady knew how disfunctional my family was, as I am sure everyone in the area did, and she went out of her way to brighten my day all the time. It was because of her going far beyond what was her responsibility, that took me out of my parents home and into foster care when I was fourteen. I owe my life to that lady, who is still a part of my life today. Not just for helping me on my way to have everything I now have, and wouldn't have otherwise, but more importantly, for giving me the architecheral plans, so to speak, on how to live my life. I have never strayed from that.
I have had great success already in my life through my kids, becasue of the type of people they have become, and because of the way they affect the lives of those around them in a very positive way. But there is a lot more work yet to do. And it is that work yet to do, that I want to be acountable for in this life. To achieve this success is easy to do, because there are always opportunities to accomplish it. There are always the lonely that need a smile, the kids that need to feel special, food banks that need to be filled, issues that need to be raised, animals that need to be petted, and there will always be gardens that need to be grown.