The unseen illness

With so much talk about mental awareness week, I can't help but constantly think of my friends that I worked with a couple of years ago. I was a teacher's assistant for special needs kids. From my studies at college I learned a lot about Downs Sydrome, Depression, Cerebral Palsy, MS, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and many other challenges some kids have. Some of these for the most part, are a physical disability, until you add in the emotional abuse that these kids go through because of being treated "different". I understand that we sometimes don't really know how to react to someone with a disability, but it really is rather simple. Treat them, and especially...talk to them, as you would anyone else. That's what they want, and what they need.

I worked with a lot of kids with the disabilities explained above, but what was the most rewarding in my time as a teacher's assistant, was working with kids that seemed on the outside, to have no disabilities once so ever. These were kids that were struggling at home with either a parent that was addicted to cocaine, or one that was in jail for murder, or who's parents just weren't around because they worked the streets, or nightclubs all night, and then slept all day. Some of these kids suffered from the effects of long term physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.

These kids suffered so much by simply being unloved and uncared for. We may not see that as a clinical mental illness, but imagine for one minute how living in those kind of conditions as a child, would affect you. Some of these kids were scared of affection, yet some of them craved it. They had to learn appropriate discipline at school because either they had none at home, or what they did have was severe. They had to be taught about healthy living, healthy eating, and healthy loving. Hence the name of the program these kids were in, was called 'The Positive Development Program'

Working with these kids was not always a bed of roses. Aging from 9 to 14 years old, there were many issues to deal with daily. We had to teach them how to manage frustration and anger, how to focus and learn, how to get along in a group situation, and work together. They also had to learn right from wrong, and how to accept healthy discipline. It was not always easy, but it certainly was always worth it. Just seeing the smile on their face when I told them how proud I was of the work they had done, or the content in their heart by a simple hug, or the giggles they shared when I took the time to play a game with them. Those wonderful kids made every day worth waking up for. My work with them was the most rewarding I have experienced. I felt I made a difference in the lives of those who needed it most. Myself and the others involved gave to these kids what they never received at home; love, affection, respect, and a positive healthy atmosphere where they could feel safe and secure. It was ALWAYS worth it!

This is why I am a firm believer that it "takes a village to raise a child". It is so much easier to just keep our love, affection and respect for those in the walls of our own home, and not worry about any others. It may be easy, but it is not our only purpose as adults to look out for those we are close to. It is up to us to make sure that our children, our neighbors children, and our communities children are all cared for.

Raising our communities children is as easy as saying hello to them when they pass by. I know how the respect and affection towards a child can be the one thing that leads them into a positive direction of their life, even when that respect and affection doesn't always come from home. Have one small, rather short conversation with a child and in those few small moments you have given them a sense of worth, by letting them know that someone is actually interested in what they have to say, and that what they have to say is actually important. Show a child affection and it simply tells them that they are worthy of that affection. Give a child respect, and it teaches them how to respect others and themselves.


So much of what we learn and how we mold into adults is brought about by what we receive through others. It's not just what we receive through example, but also what we receive in the form of emotional support, that comes from the actions of others towards us. I have been in an unsafe home as a child, and I know the pain it can cause. I also know that it only takes one person to change the life of another for the better. When I realize the effects of one adult on a child, it makes me understand the magnitude of many adults in the life of a child. Kind words and actions from a community of loving adults can help build a child up to their full potential as a human being. Imagine a community full of children with a attitude of self worth, confidence, respect, and love for others.

I think it's easy for people to interact with children that we perceive as being "good". I also think that it is usually the kids getting into trouble that need us the most. I find it easy to empathize with the children out there that go through daily bouts of physical, sexual and emotional abuse at the hands of others. We may never see it, but it's there. We can't pick and choose which child or even adults for that matter, that need our example of respect and sincere concern. I feel it is necessary to show it always, to everyone. It only takes one person to redirect the life of another. One person can work miracles.