The End of a Long Painful Journey

The last 10 months have been a true journey of self awareness for me.  It started in early Feb.  I started to have problems with  my sciatic nerve, and the pain seemed to always start from movement in my right hip. the pain would go from my hip to my butt, and would go all the way down my leg with the most pain in the side of my calf, ankle, and under my toes.   I wasn't too worried about it.  I had surgery for sciatic problems in the past, about 20 years ago, but never had serious issues with it since.  Once in a while it would act up, but after a few days would go away.  I assumed this time it would go away too.  It didn't.

It started just hurting once in awhile, and soon became constant.  Then it became unbearable.  Some mornings, the pain would literally drop me to the floor, and leave me breathless.  Over time, it never got better, and so I tried all different things to see what helped and what didn't.  Sitting on the couch relaxing in front of a movie was not good for me the next day.  I found biking was very good, and on days when I biked, the pain was minimal, usually non existent.    But I couldn't afford the time to hop on the bike every day, although I tried.  Then as winter ended and spring and summer arrived, I still wasn't back to normal.  This started to worry me.  I started to bike everywhere I could.   The only thing that really seemed to help with controlling pain was staying active.  Some of my activities surprised me.  Sitting in a kayak for 6 hours was great.  I had very little pain the days I did that, and often when I started out in pain, the kayaking got rid of it.   The same with rock climbing, and mountain biking in Arizona  I hiked the whole day in the grand canyon, carrying a pack on my back.  Still, I was better than I had been in awhile.

But then, I had days that were not so good, and these days started to become more frequent.  It all seemed to be somehow connected to movement in my hip.  In the mornings, as soon as I would bend, twist, sit, or even lean forward in the slightest bit, my sciatic pain would flare up and become very severe.  I would have to stop what I was doing, try to keep breathing and relax, until the pain subsided enough to be able to move again.  I started to get up earlier in the mornings, so I had more time to move around before I had to get in my car.  (I already have to get up at 5 am as it is)  I started to wear socks to bed, as I couldn't bend in the morning to put them on.  I put my clothes for the following day up on top of the dresser, so I didn't have to bend to get them out of the dresser drawer in the morning.  I made my lunch the night before and left it on the top shelf of the fridge.  I wore slip on shoes, and had to stand as straight as I could when I put my pants on.  Sometimes I would lean just a bit and BOOM!  The same would happen if I leaned too much over the sink when I brushed my teeth.  And go to the bathroom in the mornings was out of the question.  At least not for about the first hour or two.  If I stayed straight up, and moved very slowly in the mornings for about an hour, I would be Ok.   After that, I could bend, sit, twist, and do all kinds of physical activities without any problems at all.  How do you explain this to a doctor?

It was very difficult living like this.  I was so grateful that the pain wasn't bad all through the day, (although the odd time it was), but still, I began to worry about having to live with this all the rest of my days.   Sounds silly, but I began to worry about turning into a senior and living in an old folks home with this.  What would I do?!  Sitting and laying down are the worst.  I couldn't be in bed longer than 6 hours, or my hip killed me, and the sciatic pain on top of that.  I taught a fitness class, and was in a lot of pain the next day.  I did a kung fu work out on the bags, and again, was hurting bad the next day. I couldn't do an open X, and even demonstrating in the kids classes caused problems the next day.  I got very discouraged about my kung fu, and thought I would need to give it up.  Then, I slept on a hide- a- bed in a cabin in the woods, and that seemed to do the most damage.  Would I always have to be careful of sleeping anywhere but home?   I was in pain for days, and it never went away.  I couldn't roll over in bed.  As soon as I moved, my hip would hurt and my butt muscles would tighten up, and the sciatic pain would start.  My nights became short on sleep, as I constantly woke up, and was worried about moving.  But if I didn't adjust, my hip couldn't take it, and the pain there was brutal as well.  As winter arrived again, I began to fear about having to scrape my car windshield.  I couldn't lean and put that much effort into anything in the mornings.  I worried that I would get the flu at night.  How would I ever be able to lean over the toilet to throw up? The pain would be horrible. How could I pick up my baby grand daughter from the bed I made on the floor when we had a sleep over?   These things are all activities that I used to take for granted.  Normal daily movements.  

Finally, I went to the doctor.  I was overdue for my annual physical anyway.  I went through all the usual blood and urine tests, and my doctor had me get some x rays on my low back and hip as well.  I was convinced that there was something really wrong with my hip, and it was the root cause of all my pain.  Turns out, there wasn't.  The arthritis that I have known about for years, was causing all the problems in my hip and with my sciatic nerve.  It was proof of my age, or so my doctor said.  And that was all.   Part of me was happy that nothing was seriously wrong, but part of me was concerned, because it meant that yes, I would have to live with this pain for all of my days.

The only other issue with my health that came about from all the tests was my blood count.  It is supposed to be between 140 and 160.  Last year mine was at 127.  This year it is down to 120.  This explained a lot of things to me, and the main one, is that now I understand why I get fatigued so quickly when I work out, and why I have to push so hard to keep going, even when I feel I can't.   I talked to Sifu Brinker about how I felt and especially about my kung fu and the discouragement I was feeling.  He suggested pineapple.  Pineapple is a natural anti inflammatory.  He also suggested taking an anti inflammatory at bedtime.  

I left Sifu Brinker's office feeling much better and determined to not let this get me down.  I refuse to live a mediocre life.  I refuse to roll over and give up.  I refuse to grow old.  So I started to take my health a bit more seriously. The first I did was start to eat pineapple every morning and night.  Instantly, I began to notice a decrease in the pain. I have to admit that I was quite surprised.  I added Ibeprophen for an anti inflammatory as well.  This I would take just before bed.  The next thing,  I started taking my natural vitamins with iron on a more consistent basis, to bring up my blood count.  Then my boyfriend got me some powder from the Moringa tree.  It is what most call a miracle tree, and is used for malnourished children in Africa, along with fighting aides.  It is full of so many good things, including iron, calcium, and muscle relaxants.   I take this every morning and night, along with pineapple, in a homemade fruit smoothie.  I also started rubbing Deep Cold on my low back, hip and right butt cheek.  This I also do every morning the second I get out of bed, and just before I crawl into bed at night.  This has been helpful  in relaxing my muscles as well.    So all of these things have become a daily and nightly routine for me, for the last 7 weeks, or so.  Since then, I have been pain free.  Nothing.  I had one day with sciatic pain as my son and I had to get my car unstuck in the snow at 5 in the morning.  The pain only lasted about 30 minutes, and then was gone, and has stayed gone.  I never thought I would be pain free again.  But now I am.  I still take it easy in the mornings, and try to stay upright, but am slowly testing the waters more and more.  I have given up the Ibeprphen, and no longer take it.  I still have pineapple in my smoothie and a couple of pieces right from the can.  I bend slightly when I put my pants on, but only enough to make getting dressed slightly easier.  I lean a bit more into the sink when I brush my teeth, as I am tired of making a mess.  :)  So far, all is still well.  I no longer have pain when I get in my car to go to work, and can even sit to go to the bathroom after only moving about for a half hour after I get up.  Yipppeee!!   Finally, I can see an end in sight.  I can do my forms without my hip causing me pain, and have started to train more regular again.  I am much more careful about keeping a healthy back, (and blood count), and will continue to take precautions, and will continue to always be aware of how I feel.

My next step is to stop using Deep Cold.  It is not a natural substance, and I would like do away with it.  I am, however, afraid of making changes too quickly and ruining a good thing.  The longer I am pain free, I believe, the more I am allowing things to heal.  I fear that just one slip, and one day of pain, will set me back, and that is the last thing I want to do.

It is too bad that things had to get so bad before I took such actions to get better.  It is a lesson learned and one I will never forget.  I have also learned more about my body mechanics, and how all that I do affects me.  I have great empathy for people that live with pain every day of their lives.  It is physically exhausting.  It makes life quite miserable, to be honest.