Bring It On!

Part of my personal requirements are to do 12 challenges throughout the year, and journal about them.  These challenges can be anything from eating a food I have never had before, to doing something severely difficult like jumping out of a plane, which I don't think will be on my to do list.  So far, I have eaten Kimchi, which is like a spicy fermented cabbage type food. I liked it.  Tonight, at my foster parents in BC,  I ate pickled beets, which I have never ever tried and had convinced myself I did not like at all, thus would NEVER try.   My mom has made them ever since I was little, but not once had I tried eating them.  Tonight I did, and ok, they were not that bad, and I even went back for more.  I haven't died or gotten sick...... yet.  My foster mom was shocked that I had tried them, and of course she expressed that more than once.  Just to tease of course.

 A week ago I traveled to Columbus Georgia by myself to visit my son and his wife.  I drive back and forth to BC alone all the time, but to travel as far away as Georgia, ALONE?!  It was the airports that  scared me the most.  I don't enjoy being surrounded by a lot of people, and especially ones I do not know.  Plus I had anxieties of finding my way around the airports.  I had heard that the Atlanta airport was huge and confusing.  That is an understatement.  It took me 90 minutes to find my way out of that jungle.  I was surprised at how calm I had stayed though.  Even my girls who were messaging my son were freaking out on my behalf.  "What do you mean you lost mom?!  Mom hates being lost! (I really do) She will be going crazy!"  But I didn't go crazy.  And eventually my son and I found each other.  They say meditation helps you stay calm in stressful situations.  Perhaps that's what helped me on this trip.  Anyways, I would definitely travel alone again, without all the fear and anxiety though.  I still believe traveling with a family member or friend is more fun. 

Two weekends ago, I did a bit more difficult feat.  I did an in home meditation retreat.  I was down with a cold that weekend anyways, so thought it was the perfect time.  I was quite nervous about it as I am not one to be sitting still for too long.  This was a huge concern for me, especially when I thought of all the other million things I could be, and should be, doing.  Doing a 30 or 45 minute meditation is one thing, but for an entire 2 days?!  Of course to make it even more challenging for me, it snowed a lot this weekend, and that made it even more difficult to stay home inside and not want to go out to play.  By play, I mean ski or snow shoe.

 My friend Dean sent me all the info I needed, which included how to prepare for a personal retreat, and a schedule of how the days should look.  I sent a message to all my kids telling them I would have my phone off for the weekend to do my retreat, then on the Saturday, I set out to prepare by making my space orderly.  I cleaned my house from top to bottom, made home made tomato soup so I would have easy meals and easy quick clean up.  I made some home made sour dough bread to go along with the soup.  Then I went to the kung fu school and trained for a couple hours.  Even though these were normal day to day tasks, I was working at staying in the moment, and really being mindful of the particular task I was on.  I kept quiet, not even talking to the cats, and no music or Netflix. 

When I left to go to the school to train, I felt as if I had stepped out to a whole different world.  All of a sudden there were people, cars, and sirens.  A busy world outside of my quiet haven.  My emotions got high as far as being annoyed with the world.  It was a strange feeling.  I was disappointed with the driver honking at the pedestrian to cross the street faster.  I even got thinking about the way we treat our planet, and the creatures in it; the elephants killed for ivory, sharks left without fins, countries whose compassion for each other was replaced with hatred, and those whose only way to feel successful is through obtaining money and power, even at the expense of others.  I can get pretty worked up when I let my thoughts get onto this topic.  I want to shout to the world, "what are you doing!!  This isn't right!!"  I feel so helpless to make a difference.

When I got home, I had my soup and bread, meditated for an hour and then journaled about my day, before calling it a night. The next morning, I did an hour of meditative yoga, keeping my focus on my breath and posture, then sat and meditated for a while.  I fixed myself an easy yet nutritious breakfast, packed up my binoculars and camera, and headed out to the bird sanctuary for a walk.  It was so wonderful out there, I ended up staying longer than I had planned, 3 hours.  I fed the chickadees, as they eat out of your hand, walked lots, and meditated.  I found a wonderful secluded area under the young birch trees, with a bench, and sat down for over an hour in that one spot. I fed the birds out of my hand and that was pretty special.  After a while, I put the seeds down on the arm of the bench beside me, and just watched the birds and took some pictures.  Chickadees are such happy and friendly birds.  Some of them even ventured onto my legs as I sat there.  I closed my eyes for a while and simply took in the sounds, smells and peace of mind.  It was indescribable. As I drove away from the sanctuary, my thoughts were quite different from when I drove to the school.  My heart was overfilled with appreciation of the critters on our planet and the opportunity I had to share my little bit of time with them so closely.  I knew I was blessed.

I spent the rest of my retreat time meditating, and journaling, with short breaks to eat. I even tried walking meditation, which is very slow walking with intense focus on the feeling in your body, especially your feet, and how each step connects with the floor.  I made sure to get to bed early that night. 

This was such a great experience for me.  I enjoyed it a lot.  Going to work the next day was again, like stepping out into a different world.  A much faster pace world.  One that I am not always excited to be in, yet my mind felt clearer than it had before I had started my retreat, and I felt I had a wholesome and positive attitude to accompany me throughout my day.  I will definitely do an in home retreat again, as I know how beneficial they are for me.