I had a visitor stop by my home last night. During the visit, we got talking about families and how important they are to support and look out for each other. This particular person works in one of the local high schools, and was commenting on how she has the opportunity to reach out to those who perhaps don't live in strong family situations. This brings to mind the phrase, "it takes a village to raise a child". I am a very firm believer in this concept. I also believe it doesn't stop after childhood, but continues to be ongoing throughout our lives. We lift, inspire, encourage, support, and "raise" each other all the time. There are those that are very self assured, and confident in themselves, their life and where they are headed. Do we need to worry about them? Worry, maybe not, but support, yes. It isn't up to us as to whom we reach out to. Our natural every day actions should be to reach out to people all the time. We don't always know when someone needs a smile, or our encouraging words. Adults need them, and children especially need them.
Let me tell you about someone very close to me who is kind, strong, positive, and hardworking. She is a leader at her place of employment, and at the church she attends. She has raised a good family with strong values, and a tremendous bond with one another. Two of her children already have college degrees and another is making plans for one. This particular individual has achieved many accomplishments in her life that she can be proud of. I ask the question. If you knew her, would you reach out to this person, and let her know of your encouraging support with whatever she has going on in her life? Would you even feel she may need it?
What about this person. I marvel every time I hear her story. At age two, her alcoholic father was sent to prison. Before the dad returned home, the mother already had someone else living in the house. This man eventually became the girl's stepfather. At about age eleven, the girl's mom starting leaving for months at a time to go live with other men. Shortly after, the stepfather started to abuse this girl on a weekly basis. She was also abused by her grandfather and an uncle. At age 14, a neighbouring family found out about the abuse and got the police involved. The mother of the child, was given an ultimatum. Either the husband goes, or the child will have to. The mother chose to keep the husband, calling the girl a liar. This girl moved in with the neighbour family for about 3 months. The public outbursts of the mother and siblings calling the girl a liar and accusing her of ruining the family, caused the girl to have to leave. She was moved to a different city far away to live with her father, whom she barely knew, and his new family. About 5 months later, her dad moved his family to another city quite far away. After only 3 months there, they again moved. This time to a very small community of under 1000 people. Life with her dad was pretty tough. Her dad, now a non drinker, loved her dearly, and she him. However, the story was quite different with the jealous step mother. Now, only 15, the girl left and moved in with a friend from school and her family. After a few months, the girl decided that she didn't share the religious beliefs with this family and discussed it with them. They responded by showing her the door. This girl then moved in with another friend from school and her alcoholic parents. After only 2 weeks, social services stepped in and put the girl in temporary foster care, in yet, another city. Two months later a permanent foster family was found and the girl remained with them until she was 18.
This is not the story of a so-called troubled teen. This girl was kind, and quiet, and kept good grades in school. Her favorite things to do were to work out in the yard painting fences, or digging post holes. She didn't drink and she didn't smoke. But at 18, she made one small mistake and innocently stayed out all night. (She fell asleep while babysitting for some older friends that went out drinking). Once again, she was shown the door and asked to leave. So at 18 and barely out of high school, this girl was now on her own.
If you knew her, would you easily reach out and let her know of your concern for her? Sounds like she could use all the help she can get. Would it surprise you to know that these two people I speak of are one and the same?
When speaking about how she made it through life to be where she is now, it is not surprising, this person tells me it was not because of her family's support. It was always because of the kindness and examples from people in her community. It was the neighbour that befriended her, took her out for dinner on Friday nights, let her sleep over night on weekends and watch Johnny Carson late at night, and eventually reached out far enough to know when she really needed their help. She said it was the countless teachers that treated her with kindness and sincere respect. The counselor that she had to visit every week at school in her senior year, who went beyond her role and became a friend. It was the family friend that she met when she moved in with her dad. This lady let the girl know that she enjoyed her company, and they did many fun things together. It was the kindness of the families that opened their homes to her. It was people from not just one community, from from many. Only a couple of the people she mentioned, knew of her situation, but the many other people didn't know. There are a lot of people out there that made a positive impact in this girl's life, and they still don't even know it. Just as we never know the impact we make in the lives of others. It isn't up to us to decide who needs our help and who doesn't. We may never know when someone is hurting, lonely, scared, or feeling personal distress. We just need to be ourselves. Be inspiring, be kind, be courteous, be positive.
As a parent I can't say enough about how thankful I am for people in my community who reach out to my children. I say a quiet thank you to the teacher who sends my son home from school happy and excited to tell me the story of how his class had to stand and have a moment of silence while the teacher threw his favorite, but now dried up, felt marker in the trash. I am so thankful for friends that run into my children where they work and greet them with a hug and a sincere, "how are you?" These are the types of people helping me to raise my kids, by giving them kindness and positive uplifting experiences.
We all have countless opportunities to encourage, inspire, uplift, be an example, and improve the lives of those we come in contact with. People that live in situations such as this girl I spoke about, go through life and they eventually fall or they rise. We are all "our brother's keeper", and it is up to us to make sure that no one falls but everyone is given an opportunity to rise.
No comments:
Post a Comment