week 7

Discipline, commitment, strength, sacrifice, self awareness, mental health, balance, flexibility, empathy and appreciation ,have all come to mean much more to me than before. They are all actions words, and they require my actions everyday, not just on some days.
Through my commitment, comes the discipline, yet with the discipline, comes my commitment. They work hand in hand to see me accomplish what I set out to. They make me a better person because they cause me to work hard and push myself. Not just in my training, but it spreads to my workplace, and in my home. Through that I gain strength within myself.
I sacrifice a lot every day to do this quest. Mostly I sacrifice my time. Taking a minimum 90 minutes out of my day, 6 days a week, adds up to a lot for me. I am not the type of person that has a lot of spare time on my hands. Not that many people do anyways.
Self awareness has become huge for me. My awareness of my physical and mental health has become clearer, and therefore a bit easier to monitor. As I push myself harder and have upped the intensity of my workouts, I notice little things that start to bother me. My knee, my shoulders, and my hip. I know that my physical activity is great for my arthritis, but I also know that pushing so hard that I am in pain for a couple days after is not good. I have come to know a good pain from a bad pain, and I monitor them both. With bad pain, I slow down a bit, or change my workout, so my body can recover, then I will pick it up again.
My mental health is just as important, if not more important to keep in check. If I start to let negativity enter my life, everything else falls apart. When my arthritis acts up, I have trouble fighting the idea that I am too old to do this. Becoming a grandmother has somehow become reality of my true age. When I am negative, I get grumpy about having to work so hard, and I feel that much in my life is a lost cause. Yet, when my mental and emotional health is where it should be, I feel I can take on the world, no matter what comes my way. I love that feeling! My self awareness has become so refined, that I can read my mood the instant I wake in the morning. From there, it is all about the attitude I put forward to see I fulfill my day to it's fullest with the most positive outlook.
The empathy and gratitude that I feel comes from the idea of "look what I can do". Not in a prideful sort of way, but rather how blessed I am to have the physical ability to do what I am doing. I am grateful for it everyday, and never forget that in the blink of an eye, life can change.
Doing my workouts everyday often requires flexibility. Obviously I can't work out the same time everyday, so I have to be flexible enough to rearrange other things in my life to accommodate my workouts. Or vise versa. I also have to keep in the forefront of my mind the importance of balance in all things. I know what my needs and my wants are, and it is important for me to not forget them.
As hard as it is for me to write these journals on a public site, I think it will be interesting to go back in 2 months, or 6 months from now, read through my entries, and see where my path of growth has taken me. If I made a graph of my attitude, my ups and my downs, my accomplishments and my setbacks, what would it look like? Only time will tell.