The Snowball of Negativity Melted by the Heat of Excitement

Several factors played a part in my wanting to skip kung fu Friday night: 1. I've had an exhausting week and to head out in the cold for a 7:30 class seemed more than I had the energy for; 2. To add to that, I was up to midnight the night before, due to my climbing course and then up for work at 3a.m.; 3. I had my in-laws coming from Calgary; 4. There was an outing planned with my friends. In my mind, all reasonable reasons to skip class.

But then the highway was closed due to an accident and my in-laws had to turn around and go home and try to come the next day. Plans fell through with my friends and I managed to sneak in a small snooze. I had run out of excuses.

As the class started, we ended up with only six people due to a UBBT meeting. My negativity began to sneak in. What will we do with only six people? That feeling snowballed when Sifu told us to gear up for sparring. I do not enjoy sparring. I began to feel that I should have stayed home. This was my feelings at the beginning of class as unreasonable and negative as they were. Despite all this, I left class feeling fantastic and utterly pumped with excitement!

We started class off with just sparring drills and I was comfortable with that. It allowed me to ease into the sparring dissolving some of my fear, building a small bit of confidence, thus calming my emotions. After some time on drills, we sparred. I really enjoyed it. I had never worked with Sifu Kelsey Simpson before and I enjoyed having the opportunity that night. Her cheerful disposition really helped to set me at ease.

I got hit in the face, more than once, which I really don’t like and I received a lump on my shin but none of that seemed to matter. I had a great class. I learned some sparring skills, to know a black belt better and worked up a sweat. When I left the house for class, I decided that if I was going to go, I hoped that we would work hard because I had not made it to the gym that day. I got my wish. I came home soaked, and full of adrenaline that comes from a good workout.

The real lesson for me had nothing to do with kung fu. I learned how easy my negativity can get the best of me. It showed me that no matter how desperate and challenging an experience you may be expecting, with the right attitude, you can make it whatever you want to whether that be good or bad. While I was using the excuse of not having enough energy to make it to kung fu, I was putting what little energy I did have into a wrong outlet - of negativity.