Is There Realy A Purpose In All This?

I've been practicing pretty hard with my Kung fu for a few months now, very rarely taking a day off. I had planned to take Sunday's off from any physical activity, but that became tough for 2 reasons. First, I felt I had to push myself to get both my forms ready to do in front of Sifu Brinker, and the class. I had a lot to do, and no time to spare, so I have been working at it every day.  Second, the weekends are my only days to take off skiing, biking, hiking, as well as training for any great length of time. So for me, being restful on Saturdays or Sundays just wasn't working.  Yesterday, I did take a day off from Kung fu training, and of course I kind of felt guilty about it. But then I realized that I hadn't taken a break from it for some time, so I decided to enjoy it. Besides, I was feeling pretty tired, and didn't seem to have the energy I usually do.  After work I did a few chores and then enjoyed some time just sitting out on my deck enjoying the warmth of the sun. As I sat out there, I thought about my Kung fu journey. I asked myself, "what is my purpose in doing all this"?

Some nights I climb into bed and then realize that I haven't done any push ups or sit ups for the day.  I'm tired and ready for sleep. Yet still, I "fall" out of bed, and do at the very least, my daily required amount.  Why?  As I sat on my deck, I asked myself that very question. Why?  I started the I Ho Chuan because I felt it was the right time for me to push myself with my training.  But what is it that drives me to get out of a warm comfy bed when I am so tired after a long busy day, to do push ups?  I even shock myself that I would do that. When I don't feel like working on my forms, I do anyways.  Why? I have been driven to do things before, but this year I really feel a push to accomplish these requirements. Why? Why?  Why?

As I thought about this, I realized that it was because I have found purpose in doing so. For starters, I fear falling  behind.  I've been there done that, and don't want to do that again. I know from experience how getting behind affects me. I feel like I will never catch up, so why bother trying.  I feel I have failed. Falling behind just gets me stressed and anxious.  By falling behind, I create my own suffering. I have actually made a mental goal for myself to complete the 50,000 sit ups and push ups, a month early. If not sooner.  This gives me a purpose.

Also, I have gotten concerned about my physical body and the limitations that arthritis can put on me if I stay idle.  Along with that, I do not like to be overweight. I know how that extra bit of weight can make my joints more stressed. I see what obesity has done to my mother, and I refuse to live the life she lives. So I do what I can to keep my weight down.  Doing push ups and sit ups and working on my forms, helps to do just that.  This gives me a purpose.

Now that I am learning how to understand myself more, and appreciate who I am, I am striving to learn how to live a life of humble mastery, and about how to live in harmony in this world. I don't want to be ordinary. I want to be a positive example to the generations after me of how being ordinary just isn't something to settle with.  Mastery is always the goal to strive for.  I accept this journey of finding mastery, with an open heart, open mind, and a will to succeed, and I take it very seriously.  Mastery is not just required for my Kung fu, but in all aspects of my life.  To me that means mastery with compassion, generosity, with a desire to help lessen the suffering of others, respect for all living creatures and for our earth.   I strive for mastery in my work, in my life's passions, in understanding, in relationships, in self awareness and appreciation.  This gives me a purpose.

It pleases me to remind myself not only why I am involved in Kung fu and in the I Ho Chuan; for learning all I can about the art, how to defend myself, and how to get my body to work together, but also, what is the purpose behind it all.  What drives me to be successful?  Whether it's the fear of falling behind, a desire to keep fit, or wanting to live a life of mastery, it all adds up to one thing - rising to my potential and becoming the best that I can be.  Therein lies the purpose, and it's that purpose that drives me forward.