What is Bliss? An emotional state of joy, personal fulfillment, and happiness free of interrupting thought. The moments many people search for. The moments when you look at a beautiful sunset and notice the different shades of gold, yellow, bronze. You capture the glow reaching from behind the clouds and the mountain tops. You stop momentarily to just breath and inhale it all in, as you feel the connection with what is in front of you. You can hang on to that moment for as long as you like, but only as long as your mind is clear and focused on the view. The second you say, or even think, "oh its so beautiful, I should take a picture", that bliss is gone. Your focus of thought is changed. You've let it go. Learning to live my life in the moment and practice a state of bliss has become a large part of my journey this year. It's a journey that starts now, but will go on forever.
As adults, finding moments of bliss is difficult. It takes practice, and a lot of it. We have such busy minds, that they control our every thought, and its often difficult to just rest our minds and soak in the beauty before us. We let our egotistic mind control what we think, how and when we think. The key is to take back the control and for even 90 seconds, not think, but just be. I am learning through my meditation practice that it is so much easier to say that it is to do. Yet I am finding moments of progress.
To be honest, this journal writing is also inspired by something that put me in a nasty state a couple nights ago, and I get upset over the fact that it is I who allow it to happen. No one but me. My actions and moods are determined by my own thoughts, and not by the actions or thoughts of others. This too takes practice and control.
I so wish I knew as a young parent what I know now. Children go into a blissful state so naturally, as my granddaughter did here. A child playing in the sandbox, and building the sandcastle of their dreams, with no other distractions to interrupt them, sitting on the sofa and cuddling the cat, building a lego city, or dressing up dolls. Their focus is on the task and the moment that has presented itself to them. Then what do we as adults do? We pull them away and get them to turn their attention to something else. If I had said to my granddaughter, "come on now, we need to clean up for dinner". Poof! I have taken her out of that ever so wonderful state of bliss. We do this to our kids all the time, and over time train them to keep busy minds, always going from one thought and activity to another. Just let them be.
Children eat slow. It can be frustrating for parents, but it is a really great thing. They take their time and taste their food, and enjoy the texture, flavor, and even the smell. What do we adults do? We rush them along, "hurry up and eat your dinner". We could learn from the way kids eat. How do a lot of adults eat? We gulp our food down in such a hurry, we don't even really taste it. We are always on the run. I don't know how often I have anticipated a meal, then ate it so fast, that at the end I realized I didn't really taste it. I find myself wishing I could start over and slow down so I could savor the flavour.
Children also see beauty like no one else can. They can look at a sky with clouds and they see dinosaurs, and bunnies. An adult will see a storm coming. Kids feel exhilarated by the wind on their face as they zoom down the street or the trail on their bike. As adults, we can too.
We can also play these silly games and our children and grandchildren get caught in the middle with the garbage that we produce and expose them to. They are so innocent and have such wholesome natural abilities and endless potential. Yet as adults we subject them to unwholesome and sometimes harmful sorrows that we create ourselves and pass on to our children. The lens that kids look through to see the world is dependent on the experiences and examples that we present to them. Through our actions, we condition their thinking; the way they see themselves and the way they see the world. We could learn so much from kids, and we should learn from kids. They deserve our respect, our protection, and most of all, our unconditional love. They do not deserve to get caught in the crossfire of our own stupidity and unwillingness to show compassion and get along with one another.
I took 2 of my grandchildren out of town a couple weekends ago. It was only an hour north of Stony, but it was out of the city and away from the noises and stresses that come with that. Their little friend from Barrhead was there too. The kids played hard for 2 days; in the sandbox under the spruce trees, the swing set beside the garden, the tire swing hanging from the old maple, the trampoline on the neighbors property, playing tag or hide and seek in the bush, feeding carrots to the donkey across the road, riding bikes, riding the lawn tractor, sitting by the campfire, and yes, taking a moment to love the dog. They did everything outside, except sleep, and that was in the travel trailer. They even ate outside. They were kids without a care in the world. They lived each moment to the fullest. They had so much fun, they got along, they showed respect, and compassion. Most of all, those kids made memories, and good ones that I believe they will keep for many years to come. They experienced life as we all should.
What is bliss? How do I find it? It's always there waiting for me. It's everywhere I choose it to be. I just have to be quiet enough to experience it. I need to spend more time watching a child and I will see those moments. I need to remind myself to eat slower, and enjoy every bite. I need to not be in such a hurry to get somewhere, but rather take the time to truly be and enjoy where I already am. I need to look for those moments that touch my heart. I need to take the time to show compassion, feel grateful, and be appreciative. I need to leave the worries of life behind, and not allow it to change the state of my mind. I can be aware of misery in my life without feeling miserable. I need to pay attention to what I pay attention to. The key to meditation. I need to experience more sunsets and sunrises. I should learn to focus on what fuels me, and lifts up others. Part of my requirements in kung fu this year are to learn something new every day. All this and more I have learned in the last few months. It is most valuable to me.
I hold a very special place in my heart for kids. For all kids, and not just my own. They are the future and we should be supporting them and teaching them how to have the brightest and happiest one ever. We should allow them to enjoy life, and experience bliss. My 9 year old grandson told me on the drive out of town, that in order to write your life story, you have to be the one holding the pen. He also told me that if you want to get ahead in life, you have to stop looking behind you. He went on to explain what each of those statements meant, and he was right on. Wise words from the mouth of a 9 year old. Wise words that I should strive to live by.
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