More Challenges

Another stepping outside the box experience that I have taken on is a bit more frightening than the webinar.  I've moved to BC.  Just yesterday.

When I was 14, I went into foster care.  After living in 6 different towns with 6 different families, I wound up in Invermere BC with the Nicholson family.  I was 16.  A huge turning point in my life.  They have 2 boys, 1 with the same birthday as me, only a year younger, and the other a year older.  Great family that did many great things for me.  It is here that my passions for the outdoors really took flight.  It gave me another view into the world of families.  How they can function, work together, love and care for one another.

Last year my mom, (I don't like to say foster parents as they really are more to me than that) had a brain tumor removed, and my dad had a stroke in October.  My mom, still in pretty good health, has a few side effects from the surgery, yet stays active and can do most things around the house. My dad can not.  He has troubles remembering things from 5 minutes ago, and gets dizzy and unstable when he's up and about.  He has always been a very strong patriarch of this family, taking care of so many things around the house, yard and in his shop.  Now, he can not.  So I decided back in May to come help them out this summer.  I felt it was the very least I could do, after all that they did for me and continue to do.

I find it interesting when I look back at the series of events that took place as I came to this decision.  I had my old landlord who I had not seen for about 6 years or more come into the store some weeks ago.  Interesting enough, this man is quiet and never really talked to me much before, yet I stood at work while we talked for over 30 minutes.  He was very friendly and asked about all my kids, and talked about the outdoors.  Then he talked about being retired, and encouraged me to do it as soon as I could, saying that money is not everything, and sometimes there are more important things to do, to really experience life.   A week or so later, I was listening to a podcast, and in that podcast the speaker said that we shouldn't surround our life with concerns for making money.  There is so much more to life than money.  Then talking to my brother Dean and about the struggles our parents are experiencing, it all clicked together.  I would take the summer off to help out mom and dad.

It was an easy decision to make, but an incredible frantic one to follow through with.  How could I take 2 months off of work?  What about my kids and grandkids, and especially my daughter who is really struggling right now. What about my home?  Would I leave it?  Could I afford to keep it? I could go on and on.  So many different things to consider.  Would I even be allowed to take a leave from work, and if not, would I be willing to quit?  How could I let my boss down?  Kung fu!!  Oh no!  There's the I ho chuan, and teaching the kids.  With Sifu Rybak gone, this was even more complicated.  How could I possibly leave Sifu Brinker without a lead instructor?  How could I let him down like that?  How could I even do that to the school?  I thought worrying was silly as they would never give me a leave from work.

Then, listening to another podcast, (yes I do that a lot), they were discussing the power of positive thinking.  If you want something to happen, you have to take steps to make it happen.  So I went about to do just that.  I held back from planting a garden.  I wasn't going to be here for the summer.  I talked to the landlord about any incentives to keep me living there.  I was a good tenant and I knew they would not want to lose me.  I talked to my boss at work, and to Sifu Brinker bout my concerns for wanting to leave for 2 months.  I made a list of all I would need to take, and I asked my mom if she could put up with me for 2 months.  I also told my kids what I was planning to do.  I continued to make plans as if I would be leaving for BC.  I didn't wait until I got approved for a leave from work.  Whenever doubt started to cloud my mind, I pushed it away.  "I'm going!"

And here I am.  Sifu Brinker rubbed the top of his head as he does often when in deep thought, sometimes thoughts of frustration.  😊  Yet he was very supportive, and told me the time would go fast and I would be back in 2 months.  My boss too was reluctant to let me go, but wanted to let me do what I felt was important to me and my family.  He approved my leave.  My landlord cut my rent in half for July and August so it is down to $500 a month.  My daughter who pays half the rent, although she mostly lives in Edmonton, demanded she pay $400 of that as she is still working the summer, and I am not.  And for the first time in many years, the sales at work are through the roof.  Two weeks after I get home in September, I will receive a wonderful bonus.  I did plant my garden after I got the leave from work, as my landlord offered to care for it as long as he gets lots of carrots.  My kids support me 100%, as they know this is important to me and they even suggest I move here permanently because they know of my love for BC and the mountains.  I promised the grandkids I would face time, and try to get them here for a vacation.  My mom...well, she showered me with hugs and affection yesterday, and is hoping I will not want to go back to Alberta.

So here I am, sitting at the dining room table, writing my blog and watching a great blue heron out on the wharf floating on the lake in front.  I went to bed at 7:30 last night and got up at 8:30 this morning.  I guess I had some catching up to do.  Yah it will be a tough summer.  ha ha!

It was a bit of a strange transition, and moving my things into the house took me back in time and along with that some uncomfortable emotions.  I felt for a while, of trying to run away from what I was feeling.  "Just go back home, you will be OK".  Dean told me to remember I'm a strong woman now, and not a frightened teenager.  It may take me a few days to get settled, and used to the idea that I'm not just here for a weekend.  I have 3 mountains to climb this summer, and Dean has found some good ones for me and he will come along as well.  I have my birdhouses to finish and put in the farmers market here.  Lots of lawn to keep cut, and other yard work to do, plus helping mom clean out dads shop.  Perhaps paint some of the house.  I need to and want to keep on top of my kung fu requirements, and also create a demo with my new forms.  I'm excited to start that.  I'll be busy, but will have time to decompress as well.   For years now I have had a desire to go do some humanitarian work somewhere, and I feel I need to do this at some point in my life.  For now, my humanitarian work will be at home, here with mom and dad.  All is well.