Intentions

"Don't only practice your art.  But force your way into its secrets. For it and knowledge can raise men to the divine."  Ludwig van Beethoven

From inside the kwoon and out into the world.  Kung fu is a way of life so it's easy to see how what I learn at Kung fu, transfers out into my personal life. We talk a lot about intentions in class, and at meetings, and this has caused me to ponder on it more and more these days. Especially with my move, I contemplate my intentions for leaving Alberta, and my family behind.

Every single thing I do needs to have intention behind it.  Sometimes I recognize the intention and sometimes I don't. It all depends on my level of consciousness at the time. Along side that, is the perception of my intentions to others. My intentions will also have different responses from others. If I crash my car into a neighbors fence because I am angry at them for something like.....their dog pooping on my lawn, then they would come out in a rage and a confrontation would begin. If I crash my car into their fence because my brakes fail, they would come out with concern and make sure I was ok.  The intention in each situation was different. Retaliation compared to gaining control of my car and not running over anyone. It's good to remember that my intentions are not always successful either. Some years ago I was in a tournament in the city in a sparring match.  Fighting for first place, my intentions were to come out unharmed and with either a gold or silver medal. I came away with the judges tossing me out of the match as I took a hit to my face and my eye immediately swelled shut. First place was given to my opponent.

These past weeks as I practice my forms, I try to constantly be thinking about my intention, and that intention needs to be clear. Am I blocking, or attacking?  Redirecting my energy, or releasing it?  Is my intention in each technique to finish off my opponent, scare them away, or set up for another strike?   Will my intent be clear to my instructors watching me?  If my intent is not clear, my techniques will show it. I now recognize that in the past, outside of the kwoon if my intentions are not clear, I go aimlessly from one situation to another, and usually into situations I don't want.

In Kung fu I believe it is just as important to understand the intent of my opponent, as it is to understand my own.  We try to teach this in the kids class. When faced with danger, the kids step back, put up a physical barrier, and yell "stop!". Often the kids do this when there is no negative intent from the other person. The kids will have to learn the intent behind others actions. By learning the intent, it puts the kids in control of a possible dangerous situation. In my mind, this is invaluable.

I read an interesting article once that talked about energies. It said that our differences in intent, give off different energies. A really cool exercise they did, was to have a person stand with their eyes closed and their back to person #2. Person # 2 would quietly and slowly approach the person with their eyes closed, from behind. When the presence of person 2 was felt, person 1 put up their hand.  The distances that the others persons energy was felt getting near, differed when the person approached with angry emotions, compared to those of happy thoughts. So learning how to read, or feel the intentions of others will help me to feel the energies of others. I find this so very interesting, and I want to learn more.

More and more often, I realize the benefits of my meditation practice. Now so with intent. Through meditation, I learn to silence my mind and put it in a perfect state to discover my intent, and plant seeds of further intentions. During meditation, I learn where my mind wanders to: where I place the bulk of my thoughts.  By taking notice of this, (free of judgement), I recognize my desires, and if I am clinging to them in an unwholesome manner. Through that recognition, I can put conscious effort into my intent. If my desires are wholesome or healthy, like doing a compassionate act, or wanting to further my personal growth, my intent will be towards acting on those desires. If my desires are unwholesome, like clinging to a need to be in a relationship, my intent will be towards eliminating that desire. The seed of desires can be planted through my meditation, and my intent helps that seed to grow.

I can see how this happened to me in the past months. Seeing my parents struggle to manage things around the house and in the yard, gave me a desire to want to help. That planted the seed which led to my intent, and it grew into me spending 2 months with them. That grew into me moving there. If I had noticed the desire, but left it free of intent (not acting on it), and pretended it didn't exist, I would be going about my life today in the same way as usual. When I connected the dots of desire and intent, I was able to help out my parents, making a big difference in their lives, and now, change the course of my life.

I have wanted to move back to BC for years now, but never put it together with intent. I ignored the desire saying I couldn't do it because of my family, Kung fu, and work. I love the mountains and they are home to me. I guess to be honest, part of my intentions for moving, is also in wanting a change. I have felt a need to travel away and do some humanitarian work, but I can not afford it. I guess moving is the next best thing for change. I have no expectations for what will or will not happen in the future. My intention is simply to detach from all that is secure and familiar in my life. I am going to try travelling down a different road for a change. My intent is to simply let go and allow opportunities to come my way. I guess in some way I have taken control of my intent, but looking at it differently, I could say that I have left it wide open. I'm not sure about that. I am allowing my intent to set the universe in motion for me. I'm not sure what the outcome will be, but I believe that if I try to force the outcome, it will not be as good for me as the outcome that will come naturally.  When I think about it in that way, the excitement about moving creeps in and pushes away the fears and uncertainties about doing the right thing.  This has been a very difficult decision for me and it's proving to be an even more difficult task to actually carry out. But I keep asking myself, "why do you want to do this?  What is your intent?"  The answer is always the same.  "Because I would rather be there in the mountains than here". A perfect life,  is such a thing were to exist, 😄 😊  would be to be there with my family, and my Kung fu.  But that isn't possible.  I have the desire, I have the intent.  Now I have the follow through. We will see what the universe has in store for me.