Well, we had our second meeting for the year of the dogs. I did feel a bit more comfortable there than I did in the last meeting. The first meeting we had, I felt like I didn't belong there. It wasn't anything that anyone did, or said. It's just me. It's one of my patterns, or unwholesome habits, to feel that way about myself. I sometimes tell myself I don't belong when I see myself as not being good enough, or not being as good as the way I see others. I'm working on fixing that.
So the meeting on Saturday felt better. I have been anxious about being the senior black belt on the team. I know there will be expectations put on me. I talked to my friend a few weeks ago about how I felt. He asked if I would have to step outside of my comfort zone. I said yes. He asked then if that would be difficult for me. Yes. Then he asked if I would grow personally from the experience. Of course, yes. Then he asked the obvious, would that be a good thing? Well, of course it would. Sifu Brinker talked about this very thing in the meeting. About stepping outside of our comfort zone, and how we grow from doing so. It doesn't really help me feel less nervous, but it does help me to feel more positive about it all. At the meeting on Saturday, I left feeling more willing to help the team achieve success, in all aspects of our training in the coming year. I want to be a good, positive influence, and through this, help everyone maintain personal and team progress which will lead to positive outcomes for the team and the school.
Monday, February 5, 2018
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